RSPCA Fox Treatment

I sent away for some more homoeopathic fox drops, to the tune of a tenner. However, in the meantime my neighbour who had seen the fox out of his window, had rung the RSPCA who promised to deliver a drug called Ivermectin.

It was lucky I was working upstairs and spotted the RSPCA van parking, as my neighbour had gone out. I flew down the stairs in my flipflops (and other clothes too, I assure you!) and the upshot was that he gave me three syringes full of the drug, to be injected into fox food once weekly.

I asked if it could harm any other creatures and he said it could, if the food was eaten by a very emaciated cat weighing less than 2 kilos. As Flad weighed over 8 kilos at his last weigh-in, I don't think he's in danger.

So at around 11.30 last night, I syringed the drug into a jam sandwich, put it on top of some leftover pasta and ventured across the lawn - and was halted in my tracks by the sound of a rhythmic, barking cough. Oh dear, I thought; that poor fox isn't at all well. In fact, it could even be throwing up. But as my eyes adjusted to the gloom, I found the source of the sound - two bonking hedgehogs grunting in blissful harmony! I was reminded of the old quip. Q: How to hedgehogs make love? A: very, very carefully.

By the way, the drug can't harm hedgehogs. I asked the very, very nice man from the RSPCA. And another plus: the drug comes free, unlike my fox drops. I'll keep them though, just in case...